Tiffany Ronita McGregoy made frozen peas her husband’s new favorite vegetable with just one bite. (KingLaLa.com)
Move over Lorena Bobbit. There’s a new sheriff in town.
According to a report by al.com, Tiffany Ronita McGregory, 28, of Wylam, Ala., has been charged with second-degree assualt, domestic violence and second-degree burglary after sneaking into her soon-to-be ex-husband’s home and unleashing hell on the man as he slept next to his new girlfriend.
McGregory began her attack with some slaps and haymakers, but things got real in a hurry. In the heat of passion and displeased with the minimal amount of pain her fists of fury were inflicting, the enraged woman grabbed a pair of scissors and stabbed the man in his back and arm.
But she wasn’t done yet.
After the scissors were stripped from her hands by her husband, McGregory resorted to using her teeth as a weapon — a weapon of mass destruction for any man’s crotch — and proceeded to take a bite of her ex-lover’s genitals. Cue the “Ohhhhhhhhhhh [insert expletive]!!!”
After hearing what was surely shrieks of pain coming from the victim’s bedroom, the emasculated man’s brother rushed to the room and was able to shoo the woman out of the house, but the damage had already been done.
Stunningly, McGregory later called the police to file a complaint against her husband. I can only imagine what sort of accusation she conjured up to the officer on the phone. I’m guessing something along the lines of rape.
While McGregory is likely making collect calls from jail to bail bondsmen right now, her husband is probably wincing in pain as he pitifully rides around in a motorized wheelchair buggy at a CostCo in search of an industrial sized bag of frozen peas.